My Favorite Talabangelical

"There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular."

And according to Jim Rutz, one of my favorite "talabangicals" and head of Megashift Ministries, that poison is soy-based tofu.

"Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!)

Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them."

Now Jim Rutz is no medical expert of any kind. He is a Minister. Eight years in a medical school couldn't give him 5 minutes worth of expertise when it comes to God. And he has five minutes worth of expertise. Just listen to a few quotes from his ministry Megashift:

“Miracles are happening like popcorn starting to pop. That is amazing enough, but they are also attracting numbers of people globally that no movement in history has seen before.”

“You cannot build towers of truth on the quicksand pools of skepticism.”

Jim Rutz, my newfound hero, also writes for the conservative National Enquirer, WorldNetDaily (which also prints the column by Chuck Norris). So Rutz isn't just any crazy after your credit card, He also has illusions of grandeur, especially when it comes to the "war on terror"(AKA the "Great War" according to Rutz).

"Hidden behind the semantic fog bank of the liberal media, the Great War between good and evil roars on, now louder than ever, week by week.

In turn, that Great War between life and death is, when you peek behind the scenes, a global stage play wherein 6.4 billion puppets with free wills are acting out the improv drama of the greatest conflict of all, the Great War between God and Satan.
And in that war, my money is on God."

When it comes to a special sort of fear mongering mixed with intergalactic spiritual battles for our souls, my money is on Rutz...every single time.

"P.S.: Soy sauce is fine. Unlike soy milk, it's perfectly safe because it's fermented, which changes its molecular structure. Miso, natto and tempeh are also OK, but avoid tofu."

End

Exhaled by DieHard Disciple @ 7/25/2007 INHALATIONS: 12