"Take the car keys out of your pocket, before you put your mittens on"
Recent Mild Surrealism
Things Have been crazy lately. Three things in particular have been on my mind.
I. Russia, leaving their flag on the oil rich seabed of the North Pole, is claiming the Arctic and is ready to fight the US for it. They are apparently eagerly awaiting global warming.
III.Blogs for Bush...they exist. And they harbor great minds that write things like this:
The U.S. should officially re-classify Islam from a religion to a terrorist ideology. As a terrorist ideology, Islam should be declared illegal. All U.S. mosques and Islamic madrassas should be closed down and then razed. Any Imams/muftis/Muslims who refuse to stop preaching the terrorist ideology of Islam should be deported and/or imprisoned.
But some are slightly less fanatical:
I don't think we can keep blaming the liberals for everything including this since we control the senate, house, and presidency. I think we have to start looking within all our hearts and blame ourselves for getting away fom jesus.
"There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular."
And according to Jim Rutz, one of my favorite "talabangicals" and head of Megashift Ministries,that poison issoy-based tofu.
"Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!)
Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them."
Now Jim Rutz is no medical expert of any kind. He is a Minister. Eight years in a medical school couldn't give him 5 minutes worth of expertise when it comes to God. And he has five minutes worth of expertise. Just listen to a few quotes from his ministry Megashift:
“Miracles are happening like popcorn starting to pop. That is amazing enough, but they are also attracting numbers of people globally that no movement in history has seen before.”
“You cannot build towers of truth on the quicksand pools of skepticism.”
Jim Rutz, my newfound hero, also writes for the conservative National Enquirer,WorldNetDaily (which also prints the column by Chuck Norris). So Rutz isn't just any crazy after your credit card, He also has illusions of grandeur, especially when it comes to the "war on terror"(AKA the "Great War" according to Rutz).
"Hidden behind the semantic fog bank of the liberal media, the Great War between good and evil roars on, now louder than ever, week by week.
In turn, that Great War between life and death is, when you peek behind the scenes, a global stage play wherein 6.4 billion puppets with free wills are acting out the improv drama of the greatest conflict of all, the Great War between God and Satan. And in that war, my money is on God."
When it comes to a special sort of fear mongering mixed with intergalactic spiritual battles for our souls, my money is on Rutz...every single time.
"P.S.: Soy sauce is fine. Unlike soy milk, it's perfectly safe because it's fermented, which changes its molecular structure. Miso, natto and tempeh are also OK, but avoid tofu."
No more "cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment" of detainees.
(This includes sexual acts and attacks on religious beliefs.) George Bush 7/20/07
Leaving aside the issues of how hypocritical it is to denounce something that he says isn't going on and how disturbing it is that "sexual acts" has to be separately highlighted (as if someone was going to ask "But Mr. President, you surely wouldn't also ban sexual acts against detainees would you?"); this is disturbing.
And we should be scared...because "Military lawyers say the main point of the orders is to offer protection to CIA officers who might get sued in US courts if they were deemed to have abused prisoners," because Critics say guidelines are still too vague, and because Bans didn't work in the past.
"The President’s action—along with the Military Commissions Act of 2006—gives us the legal clarity we have sought. It gives our officers the assurance thatthey may conducttheir essential work in keeping with the laws of the United States."
Because it's so much harder to preform essential terrorism, both internationally and domestically, when your CIA officers' own illegal, Christian, xenophobic, homo erotic sexual deviance gets in the way of a good torture session.
End
In this busy, capitalistic world, who has time to stop and pray?
Well, now you can!
While you are shopping as an adult with your mandatory all-female troupe of friends, just jump into the nearest prayer room.
Since this is your obligatory religious duty, mind you that you pause from purchasing items that can lead to the exploitation of countries and resources, at the same time contributing to the profits of large corporations that would rather pocket the money than giving zakat (alms) to the needy in that nation...o...how religious of you.
"Very strong occult, pro-witchcraft worldview where the hero and his friends conquer evil villains through evil means, i.e., witchcraft..."
And don't let your child hear such nonsense as when Harry Potter's godfather tells him,
“You are not a bad person. Every person has light and darkness in them. You have a choice.”
Free will?...What a ridiculous statement, as Dr. Baehraffirms, "Imagine saying this to Michael Cho after he has had his killing spree. Or, Adolf Hitler."
Watching this movie, your child will have such harmful effects as,
"Instead of dreaming about the joys that God gives us through Jesus Christ, they will be dreaming of casting spells, using magic spells, riding brooms, and rebelling against their parents."
But, as the Dr. says, perhaps the worst part about this film is the theme of,
What about other Movies? Don't worry, Dr. Baehr is not just focusing on a childrens' films as anti-conservative, the film Sicko is in the Abhorrent category as well.
I've been waiting to see Sicko, I'll be waiting a while longer.
Although Michael Moore is about as intellectually stimulating as the latest Grisham, and even though the movie is about what most educated Americans (who care) already know, I have been waiting to see what all thecommotionis about.
But I'll be waiting a while longer.
Marcus Theatres--which in Fargo owns all but the independent, downtown theatre that mostly concentrates on independent and foreign films--has not played it.
And out of 500 screens in Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, Ohio, and North Dakota; Marcus is playing Sicko in one theatre in Madison Wisconsin.
However, to Marcus's credibility, Knocked Up is being played in 50+ theaters.
Update: Sicko for Fargo After much anticipation, Marcus theaters is to show Sicko in 29 theatres on the weekend of the 20-22 of July. According to Marcus, they originally scaled back the film due to the "demographics" of Fargo and due to a release cutback from LionsGate. I won't have to wait much longer.
ALSO: Since my readership is all liberal "commie scum," constitution-loving humanists, or the vagrantly unemployed (they are just so damn accepting); I know I've written some posts leaning toward the left. However, I didn't think this was one of them.
Apparently Rob at SayAnything did. He blitzkrieged hereand even here at CBS 12.
End
"Northern Ireland, I think, taught you that very well. My counterparts in your [British] forces really understand this kind of operation... It took a long time, decades."--Gen. Petraeus
Morbidly Funny, one wouldn't expect General Petraeus to compare Iraq to Northern Ireland. I now understand American Imperialism so clearly.
And yet, I am quite sure the Strategy to "handle" Northern Ireland didn't Include a "Surge" in Violence.
It's hard to believe, but God's omnipotent and omnipresent feelings of steel were hurt when it was formally not allowed in school...and hence because of this, not gun-control, we have to endure the wrath of school shootings.
Also, We can't beat our children. Teachers can't beat our children. OUR daughters have the right to choose and have choices Sons get access to condoms. The President, and elected officials, can have a private life. There is free speech on the internet, TV, and Radio.
It's not like it used to be when we at least pretended to follow the Constitution.
Meanwhile, let the NASCAR reruns, hot dog eating contests, and Chinese made explosives commence, for senile America, though confused about present and past events, made it through another year.
End
"Moses was a foundling; Jesus Christ was born in a stable; and Mahomet was a mule driver."--Thomas Paine
Don't let the God Bless America Crowd fool you, these obscure and humble beginnings are either a testament to how "lost" are the credit card peddling, miracle wielding tele-evangelists and born again Presidents alike or, merely, an indication of historical misuse of legacies in which of the origins very little is known about.
End
I know some people really get off on this End-of-Days, East vs. West, fight-the-"brown"-people stuff. I know it's apparent on both "sides." But, kind of like telling the Sunnis not to attend parliament, it isn't going to help.
Sadly, the network news and the public seem to be treating it like a bad TV show (see Jack Bauer). As real news, real violence, and real car bombs are happening in Iraq, We are glued to Glasgow, and we can't wait to see what happens next.
But Fear not... Bush appatently let out Scooter Libby to help fight terrorists.
End
