Have you killed a kitty today?

Because it is Sunday...we need to talk about something very, very serious.

You have just been enlightened by the #1 porn site...for christians. So that whole thing you heard in high school...the message "sex can wait, masturbate" totally wrong now. The thing is, doesn't really specify what to do instead of I'm thinking the slogan is now "masturbation can wait, cuz sex is really great!"

Oh, and they are pretty witty when it comes to the issue of masturbation...

"We have heard all the scenarios. 'Well if I think about fruit while I'm masturbating, then that is not sin.' Well isn't that clever. Or...'If I'm giving glory to the Lord while I'm doing it, then that can't be wrong.' Hmmm. Why don't we just make that part of our Sunday morning services then? We have heard all the Pro-Masturbation Christian arguments and I wonder if these people are really dealing in reality."

Hmmm... I don't see how one can't masturbate while reading the Bible, whichever persuasion you suits you, especially with verses like this:

"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love"(Proverbs 5:18-19).

"There were giants in the earth in those days
; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men" (Genesis 6:4).

And this is my favorite, a perfect line for a porno:

"For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses" (Ezekiel 23:20).

Bestiality, anyone?